Karma and --
From Prude To Slut
as a narrative from email
I really hope that part of reincarnation is
coming back to fix things that I totally fucked up the
I grew up with was the daughter of a guy who belonged to some
right-wing religion. He didn't believe Rose [his daughter]
should dance, hold hands with a boy, or even be close to one
Naturally, Rose was home
schooled because public school involved taking part in activities
that were forbidden.
Rose was pretty -- long, wavy
brunette hair, beautiful, high cheekbones, and probably a nice
figure, although she wasn't allowed to wear clothes that would
give much of a clue about that.
When she finally was
forced to go to a public high school, she didn't fit in and was
Although Rose and I only lived a mile apart,
I, too, shunned her . Spineless weasel that I was, it was
more important to me to go along with the crowd.
heard she tried to commit suicide in high school. They
referred her to
sessions with a psychologist, at least until her father found out
and put a stop to it.
Okay, you get the
we don't get the opportunity to fix things in our lives that we
fuck up, but years later and out of the blue Rose's mother called
me and said she hadn't heard from Rose for months and was very
worried. I don't think I ever spoke to this woman before
I lived close to Rose's college and she wondered if I could check
I had long been haunted by my cowardly
inaction on Rose's behalf so I saw this as a chance to maybe make
I'd heard she chose
because it had a good archaeology department and she could find
out new truths about early Christianity. Plus, it was probably
the only major her parents would approve of.
had to do
some major detective work to piece together what was going
people didn't want to talk about Rose, including some officials
at her school. I was soon to find out why. I
was told that she had left
the country to join a "dig."
found a telephone number for her last known address. A guy
who said he was "Ron," answered but refused to say
anything about Rose until I answered a bunch of questions.
I told him I had grown up about a mile from her and that her
mother asked for my help. He said, "We'd better talk in
When I found the place I saw a large
U-Haul trailer outside. When I got inside the apartment, he
asked me if I was there because I'd seen her videos.
Satisfied with that
answer, he said, "She got herself into quite a mess."
kind of mess?"
Ron avoided that and said, "Thanks
to some psychology courses she realized that the way she grew up
was the cause of her problems. When her father demanded she
come home, she refused, so her father cut off her meager l
"She was in debt and was
forced to take a job in a bar because she was attractive and she
was told she
could make a lot on tips."
bar; that doesn't
sound like her."
"You don't know the half of
it. It appears that Rose radically changed when she
realized just how
screwed up her upbringing had been and she kind of flipped out
and started drinking. While she was in that state she met some
guys, who noticed
that killer body of hers, lured her into porno.
her father heard some rumors, stormed the campus and threatened
to sue everybody. But the problem was Rose was now legally an
adult. To escape the maelstrom brought on by her father, Rose
left the country and joined an archeological dig. That's where she is
her father cut her off she was in major debt and she found out
that 'video modeling,' as it was advertised, was a way to get
some quick cash before the roof came down and she was forced to
go back home."
I was having a hard time believing
what I was hearing but I saw 16X20 glamour photos on the wall.
Ron nodded at some boxes stacked by
the door. One of them had been opened. He was quick
to explain that he had opened it because he thought she had been
sent food or something, and it would go bad. The boxes contained
Ron said, "I didn't know anything about that
except that they kept showing up at my door until I told them to
not come back. I did a bit of research on them and began to
understand why Rose was so messed up. You can check out the
documentaries on YouTube -- pretty revealing stuff and stuff that
their members are forbidden to see or read about under penalty of an
everlasting fire and brimstone hell I guess. And he wanted her to
pass these out on a college campus!"
me while I let all this sink in.
He continued as he
walked to the bedroom and pointed to the dresser. "She got a
bunch of letters, some from her mom and some past due bill notices. I
paid some of the bills since I wanted to keep her out of jail, but
now I've got a new job to get to."
I glanced at
the bed, "So you shared this apartment -- just the two of
"Yes, but there was nothing special in
it. I quickly found out that she was too messed up to get
serious about. When she discovered sex doing porno it was like
something let lose and she started fucking every guy she met.
Guys are still calling.
"She found that that
fucking black guys paid more. That's what porno wants to see and
she got paid a lot for doing that.
having sex; I didn't want to get some disease even though she had
to be regularly tested. Plus, I saw the guys she was
with--eight-plus inches. Who could compete with that?"
was still trying to process all this. "When is she coming
"About a week, but I'm not sure what
she'd do when she finds I'm gone. She's fragile.
to tell you this stuff, but I guess you need to know. She got a
bit famous because
of the videos. We couldn't go anywhere without guys
recognizing her. That's a large part of why she had to get out of
the country -- that and her dad."
was silence for a while. He said, "I feel guilty about just
running off and leaving her but you know where her home is and
I don't know what
to do with her stuff."
He saw my hesitancy.
"I've paid the rent until the end of the term so she'll have
a place to stay for a while. But somebody needs to keep her away
from that family of hers and all the shit they represent, and, of
course, the booze which she uses to cope with all of the
I said, "You don't really know me;
how do you know I haven't been sent by her family, or that church
"After you called I did an
internet search on you."
"Okay, but that
doesn't mean that I would be willing...."
interrupted. "You could maybe save her from going over the
edge, which she could, especially if she gets here and finds I've
I interrupted, "Which you
He ignored my comment. "Plus,
nobody's going to hire her for a decent job, not after they
investigate her. Wherever she goes some guy recognizes
While I thought over what it seemed I was
getting into, I helped Ron load some of his bigger things in the
U-Haul. Being satisfied with me he was now in a hurry to
"He handed me a slip of paper.
This is her flight and arrival time. I've written down her cell
number too. If I get a text from her I'll forward it to your
an hour he was out the door. I texted Rose's mother and told her
Rose was out of town but I would be seeing her when she got back.
She called me, but I refused the call. Maybe later when I
could sort this out.
days before Rose's' flight was to arrive. Having nothing better
to do I went through Rose's things. I saw some modeling shots and
found two boxes of porno DVDs with various versions of her
picture on the covers.
Among the letters Rose
received were some that looked as if they could contain
checks. The bills that Ron paid were clipped together and
marked 'paid.' There were two little boxes of love letters or
probably lust letters which had been forwarded by the 'Elite 4K
In his haste to leave Ron had left a
box of books. I found one that looked interesting and sat down to
kill some time.
it was time to pick up Rose. I had no idea how she would react
when she saw me instead of Ron.
Despite her dark glasses,
her immediately as she was leaving the restricted area of the
airport. I took her carry-on bag and she said, "He
left, didn't he?"
"He had to get to his new
"Did my parents send
are we going?"
"To your place."
still have a place?"
at least there's that. You look older."
been a few years." After that she was silent.
we got to the apartment, she immediately went to Ron's closet and
saw there was nothing there. She flipped through the letters
on her dresser and organized them into piles. There were tears
running down her cheeks. She crawled on the bed and pulled the
blanket over her. I left her alone and
continued with the
book I had been reading.
hours later I took two Salisbury steak dinners out of the
freezer and tossed them in the microwave. Ron had left stuff in
the freezer, including
cans of soda in the
When microwave beeps indicated the
dinners were done I put them on the kitchen table with two cans
of soda and I looked up to see Rose standing in the kitchen
doorway. I waved at the table, "They'll get cold."
saw the videos, didn't you."
"Do you hate me for what I
"We do what we have to do to get
"You think I'm trash."
you going to leave too?"
"Not unless you
want me to."
"Just so you know, I don't have
any diseases or anything."
"Good to know.
She hesitated, then sat down at the