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 Forgiving My Wife

My wife recently came back from her 10th high school class reunion.

From the moment she came back she acted guilty about something. 

Soon, I guessed why, especially after she mentioned catching up on old times with a guy I knew she had had a crush on in high school.

After a week I didn't like to see her still feeling guilty so I came right out and said, "You slept with him didn't you?"

She hesitated and then blurted it out, "Yes, but I'm really sorry...."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Not as much as I thought I would, but he took me to this really fancy hotel, we had a great meal and we didn't check out until dawn."

"And you enjoyed it."

She looked away. "Yes."

"And now you feel guilty."

"Very; it's been keeping me awake worrying about whether I should tell you."

"So now you can sleep better."

She was surprised. "But it was adultery!"

I said, "Adultery isn't what it used to be; it's not grounds for divorce and for the sake of their marriages sophisticated people forgive it and accept it, and go on with their lives."

She looked at me, "So it's not a big deal with you?"

"You slept with guys before we were married, right?"

"You know I did."

"So this was just one more guy; apparently a guy you had the hots for."

"So you aren't mad?"

"Do you plan to leave me for him?"

"Heavens no, definitely no! I just wanted to see what it would be like."

"And now you know."

She looked very relieved. "So you forgive me?"

I said, "Next time don't wait a week to tell me."

She kissed me. "I love you."

"And I love you too and this doesn't--shouldn't--change a thing unless you let it."


Dr. Lee responds:

Despite how this came out, it's not always a good idea to confess "infidelity." You've got to know your man, yourself, and the situation.

Some men may suspect it, but prefer that it not be confirmed. Some husbands condone extramarital sex and even feel it makes their wives (hotwives?) more exciting as long as the marriage isn't threatened.

When it comes to sex US society is definitely in an era of change.


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