Dr. West

  

 

In depth --

Sexual Imagery

By Dr. David Weston

In my work I have encountered many people who are disturbed by "strange" sexual thoughts. It has been part of my job to point out that most such thoughts are not unusual.

One aspect of this is exhibitionism ,which includes having sex in public places. Toying with that danger excites many people.

This issue was analyzed in a recent international study at queried 6,600 people in 20 countries. Some of the results are summarized below.

publicsex

       Note that the majority of Norwegians have had sex in public places. Dr. Isadora Alman, a licensed marriage and family therapist, says that public sex is, in her wards, "certainly very common."

These behaviors appear to be related to recent brain-imaging research demonstrating that parts of the brain associated with pleasure exhibit a much stronger response to unexpected pleasure surrounding risk, than predicable pleasure based on the familiar.

       The "risk" here relates to getting caught at something that contains elements of perceived danger and mocks social values, but at the same time (in their opinion) hurts no one.

Such shared experiences are thought to have a bonding effect on a relationship. (It needs to be emphasized that sexual exhibition of this type is illegal in many countries, especially the United States, and can lead to an arrest and possibly even a jail sentence.)

However, several studies have shown that there is a positive relationship between the lack of inhibitions demonstrated by such behaviors and positive personal adjustment, satisfaction in love, mutual attraction toward a mate, and general contentment with life.

At the same time those that want to ban or limit porn, cite research cited in this 2016 Time magazine report that in part  suggests that porn interferes with normal sexual development and behavior.

Filming Lovemaking

Exhibitionism also explains why so many amateur pornographic videos flood the market.

Although you might assume that amateur videos come primarily from liberal areas of the United States, in actual fact, the majority are submitted from the conservative "bible belt."

You might also be surprised to learn that according to some data most of them are submitted by women.

There also appears to be an element of vicarious exhibitionism involved when men approve of or encourage their girlfriends or wives to enter strip contests or participate in adult games such as strip poker.

Part of the motivation in the stimulating "taboo" element involved. Beyond this, the male may be simply proud of his wife's or girlfriend's body and want other men to know what he has.

There may also be a component of demonstrating power over their wife or girlfriend and, in a sense, "humbling" her before others. Or, it may work in reverse, the woman may want to "humble" her husband or boyfriend and make him jealous by demonstrating her independence and the effect she can have on other men.

And, sometimes there is no hidden motivation such at this at all -- the people involved just want to add  excitement to their lives.

" Filming each other's lovemaking and sometimes trading the films with other couples is one of the ways this fantasy is expressed. "

       The Internet contains hundreds-of-thousands of photos of men and women engaged in sex. Some webcams even stream live sex around the world 24-hours a day.

Although most people assume that money is the motivating singx38 factor, in fact, many of these people have strong exhibitionist traits and like to have others watch.

As we've noted, a recent survey among college students shows that watching and being watched during sex are major fantasies. Although these fantasies aren't "outside the norm," acting on these fantasies probably is.

Filming lovemaking is a form of acting out the "watched and being watched" fantasy.  Normally, these videos are viewed in private, but when another couple who has also made films finds out, a couple can, with some encouragement, may offer to trade films. Curiosity may win out over modesty and the couples will agree to trade films with the assurance that they will be viewed in private.

      >>   Not unrelated, one of the top adult male fantasies is watching another man have sex with his wife or girlfriend. (The bonds of a marriage seems more secure to the male in these cases than just a girlfriend.) There are numerous clubs around the country where husbands can watch their wives have sex with other men -- often while being filmed.

    >>   One college woman who exchanged personal sex tapes with another couple said:

" I remember it was sort of weird when I saw the other couple the first time and know they had seen our film. The guy looked at me and I knew he'd seen every inch of my body.... Although I may have been a bit embarrassed right then, I'm not ashamed of my body."

"...We sort of had secret information on each other, and that sort of made us equal."

       Some films are not exchanged between trusted couples, but shown to single friends -- sometimes to make them jealous. One college woman invited female friends into her dorm room to see the film of her and her boyfriend making love on the deck of his boat.  A man may show a similar video to his male friends.

For a man the motivation for making these films might be to demonstrate his sexual prowess to others, or to prove that he has the power to get a woman -- generally a particular woman -- to do these things on camera.

" There was a time in our history that knowing that a film of this type was being viewed by others would be devastating to most any woman."

Cell Phone Photos

With the almost universal acceptance of cell phone cameras, we're seeing a lot of pictures you "wouldn't show mom." 

Included are photos of girls giving their boyfriends oral sex or blowjobs.

Photos such as this attest to both the willingness of girls to please her boyfriends and the nature of  boyfriends' "equipment" -- both of which can constitute "bragging rights."


" One girl was at first humiliated knowing that a photo of her with her boyfriend had been sent around, but then she decided, 'Hell, the Internet is full of very attractive women taking part in sex, so I guess I'm in some good company.' " 

 


24-Hour Apartment Webcams

Numerous young women around the United States and around the world have webcams installed in their apartments that stream video to the internet.

One woman claimed that she made five-million dollars a year selling subscriptions to her web site. (Six-figure profits were common in the early days of this but no more.)

Other women who aspire to be actresses feel that this type of "exposure" can launch a career. Even though it has in very few cases, the possibility is thought to remain.  

Wives and Girlfriends

As Porn Stars

The Internet has clearly been a boon to exhibitionists because it allows the posting of nude photos, pornographic photos, and even X-rated videos. 

A couple filming lovemaking, which is common, is generally the way this starts out.  From here things expand into new experiences.

According to one wife,

" We liked creating the videos and we liked watching them. Then my husband talked me into showing a tape to a friend. But it didn't stop there. Finally, I had to accept the fact that I was officially in porno. "

       A husband's voyeuristic need may motivate him to get a male friend to have sex with his wife while he films them doing whatever sexual acts he wants to see. The fact that "this is just what you are expected to do in these films," seems to legitimize things.

Once the raw material is recorded, he typically uses a computer to edit it, and then add music ant titles.

Editing programs have gotten quite sophisticated and special effects and embellishments can easily be added.

He may list the woman as the star and himself as the writer, editor, director, and producer. Fictitious names are generally used.

       Although you might think that women have to be hornswoggled into doing these films, a great many are quite willing to do them, especially after they see the many porno films on the internet featuring very attractive women, . 

The porn market is now so flooded with amateur videos that the professional porn distributors are complaining.

Although there are legal issues involved, amateur videos are sold or distributed to video outlets for a fraction of the cost of professionally-produced porn. Plus, many buyers prefer to see "real people" rather than professional actors  "performing" for the camera.

The central motivation for doing these films appears to be different for men and women.

" For women it is typically the need to be a "star on the screen," as short as that stardom may last."

     You would think that a husband would not want other men to see his naked wife having sex with other men.

However, some men get sexual excitement from seeing and filming men having sex with their wives and girlfriends.

It's easy to edit our the "awkward" or less-than-stellar moments in the raw footage and assemble an fairly impressive porno video.

       According to another pornomaker:

" I liked to see my wife play the vixen role. It was so totally unlike her and doing it gave her an excuse to be a totally different person."

     The fact that porn is a multi-billion dollar industry doesn't escape the notice of aspiring porn producers. (Although in the early days of Internet pornography many people made over a million dollars a year in personal profit, the competition quickly became so intense that soon most newcomers were losing money.)

" According to recent figures, the US porn industry releases 211 hard-core titles each week -- that's one every 48 minutes."

       In order to compete on a professional level, aspiring porn producers quickly find that they must bring their filmmaking abilities to a point far beyond what's covered in video camera instruction manuals. For this they turn to a free professional level website such as this one, which can equip them with professional skills.

Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry, a far larger and more lucrative business than mainstream "Hollywood" film production.

Some of the biggest and seemingly most respectable corporations in the United States are involved with pornography.  Even thought bottom line corporate profits are reflected in quarterly reports, exactly the where the profits come from can be hidden from stockholders.

 The prevailing opinion seems to be that porn is harmful. However, several large-scale research studies on this issue contradict popular opinion.

Personal Consequences

       In some cases the revenue generated from webcams, nude photos, or porn has paid for tuition at some of the nation's top colleges. (One woman reports an annual income of more than $5-million from her pornographic web site.)

However, after graduation, most of these instant "porn stars" live in fear that they will be recognized. This may be a major concern if they try to hide this part of their lives from a boyfriend, husband, or subsequent children.

As several celebrated cases have shown, people involved may lose their jobs when this surfaces. Whether an employer can fire someone over this depends on the circumstances.

Once photos or videos "are out there" there is no pulling them back. What happened during a brief, possibly inebriated episode, has changed lives -- and often not for the better. Maybe years later when some one is being considered for promotion or an executive position, videos can "somehow" surface.

People may rightly point out that there are millions or porno photos and videos on the internet and coming across "yours" is a needle-in-the-haystack issue. 

However, we have face recognition software which can search through scores of images in seconds. Law enforcement databases now have millions of photos on file -- most on law abiding citizens.

Until society gets beyond its problem with sex in its varied forms these images will have power to disrupt lives, careers and even marriages.

Many young women are paying their way through college by finding "sugar daddies" to support them.


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