hotwifeletters.com

 

 

A Growing Phenomenon -

 

Housewife

Prostitutes

 by Dr. Ronny West

Case Study: Cathy

     Cathy is a housewife prostitute  — or at least she was when this interview took place. 

She is one of thousands of women in the United States who engage in prostitution, either because of a financial need or (in the case of Cathy) to break free from what was seen as a boring and confining life.  

At the end of the section, I'll explain my attempted intervention.

       Cathy was an attractive woman of about 30 who had enjoyed an active social life in high school and college.

She was a high-energy person and a former cheerleader who craved attention and constant activity.

She married into money as a trophy wife, and suddenly her life changed dramatically.

According to Cathy, her husband didn't want children, and being financially well off and the old-fashion type, he didn't want her to work.

She said that she had left all her friends in another city when she got married, and she was, in her words, "stuck at home with nothing to do Monday through Friday except simple housekeeping chores and watching TV."

Cathy said that prostitution gave her a sense of power, both over men who sought her company and over her husband who robbed her of the personal freedom she had known before marriage.

On weekends her husband was primarily interested in catching up on his work and watching sports on TV.

He would show her off at professional gatherings, during which time she was expected to be very proper and lady-like.

According to Cathy,

There was this friend of [my husband], a next-door neighbor, who used to come over and watch the games with [my husband]. He was divorced...and by looking out the window I could see that different women visited him.

According to Cathy these women didn't look like they were there to buy insurance (he was an insurance agent).

        Well, this one day when a woman showed up, when he wasn't there -- I guess they got their schedules mixed up or something --  I got curious and I went out on my driveway to get a better look at her, pretending to be checking on some of my flowers.

After ringing his doorbell for a while, she saw me and walked over and asked if I knew where he was. I didn't, but I said that he was probably just held up a bit, and I invited her to my house to wait.

...She reluctantly agreed, we had coffee, and after about 15 minutes she wanted to leave, but I kept her there with coffee and pie, and we ended up talking for well over an hour.

When I asked her about her relationship with my neighbor, she was evasive. By that time I had already guessed what was going on and I hinted as much.

By that time we had sort of become friends. Even so, she wouldn't tell me her full name or where she lived.

After a bit the atmosphere changed, she looked me over and said I was beautiful and that a lot of guys would pay real money to spend a little time with me.

I just laughed and I used to have a social life but that sort of evaporated when I got married.

I guess she suddenly saw me as a possible business opportunity, and then she sort of hinted about what some of the other housewives did, including the "off-the-books" money they made, which in some cases, she said, ran into six figures.

She looked around, "I guess you don't need the money, but maybe you could use some excitement."

She assured me that the guys she knew were successful businessmen who just came into town for a day or two and called on very select suburban housewives for afternoon diversion.

She said to provide these men with the variety they demanded, there was always a need for new women.

  Seeing where this was going, I told her that I would be afraid I would get some sort of a weirdo or something. I was sort of giving her a good-bye speech.

Before she left she insisted on getting my cell number.

I chalked it up as just an interesting experience, but within a week I got a call from her and she said she wanted me meet a man. "He's a really nice and he just needs someone to talk to."

I asked her to tell me about him. She knew a lot, and none of it sounded bad. She asked, is it okay if I give him your number?

Within a couple hours he called and we had a long talk.  I let him know where I lived and he asked if he could drop by.

When he got there, we toured the house, talked more, and eventually ended up in the guestroom, where there's mostly just a bed.

He definitely had a way about him.  As we were standing there talking, he started rubbing my shoulders and stuff, and before long I had made up my mind to see what it would be like with him.

Frankly, he was a lot better than my husband in bed -- or at least far more enthusiastic -- and I ended up enjoying it.

...I felt really guilty the next day, but with my husband mostly ignoring me, it had been a long time since anyone had made love to me like he did.  I guess she knew that once I had sex with a guy, that door would be open.

After a couple days I got a call from another guy, and I checked on him too, and the woman assured me that she wouldn't give anyone my number unless the person was okay.

So I invited him over and ended up having sex with him too.

With that, it didn't seem as if I should refuse other men, and before long I had been bedded by several men and it had become a bit routine.

For starters, we have a beautiful house with a large pool and Jacuzzi and all. And then seeing me there, and knowing that I'm a 'sure thing'....well most men just want to get me into bed before it all goes away....

"Two strangers meeting and immediately having sex; that's kind of awesome when you think about it."

      "It's simply a matter of deciding you are going to do it and then letting it happen.

"After a while, you get past your hang-ups about doing stuff with men, even men you just met.

       ...It wasn't long before I learned how to keep a guy going (not climaxing) until I came.

At that point they were hardly "quickies" and I learned to take control of sex until we were both satisfied.

"I find it exhilarating to have this secret life going. ...to have a recommended guy I have never met call me, and then to invite him over. We both know that I'm making myself available for sex. It's kind of scary and exciting...."

 I remember once a guy was...[making love to] me and my husband had called, and I was talking on the guest room phone at the same time.

The guy knew who it was and I think he sort of enjoyed the fact that he was [making love to] me while I was talking to my husband....

The guy wasn't making it easy, and it was all I could do to sound normal while that was going on. ...If my husband only knew what was going on at that moment! God, it was so surreal.

...I guess doing this is also sort of my revenge for leaving me stranded at home.

...Maybe the guys are using me, but I'm also using them.... And, I'm probably easier to live with, because  I've quit complaining about how boring my life is.

I sort of get a kick out of going to one of my husband's parties, looking so proper and all. If they only knew that this '"proper little lady"' was regularly having sex with different guys.

I opened up a secret bank account for the money just in case my husband finds out and divorces me, or something....

After the end of the first year -- not even a full year -- my share of things was $58,000. I'm told I'm worth more than some of the other girls.

...Some of the guys refer their friends to me, so in those cases I keep all the money for myself. I see guys most every afternoon ...It didn't take long before I was on my way to a six-figure income with no income tax.       

...I guess I've been lucky in not getting caught, so maybe I should quit.. But, I don't know if I would ever be able to go back now to just housework and those boring TV shows....

        I like it that guys are hot for me. And it's not the money -- I can't even spend that for fear of getting found out.

There is a bit of excitement -- maybe even danger -- in the whole thing, which can get sort of addictive....

Each new guy is sort of an adventure.



Comments by Dr. Lee

        Cathy apparently has a husband that was so self-absorbed in his own world that he has been blind to his wife's needs and what's she'd doing.

He apparently had no idea what the consequences would be in taking a very social and high-energy, woman away from a life of friends and social activities and try to force her to be a stay-at-home suburban housewife—"an ornament" to his career.

In a strange way, Cathy "adjusted" to her cloistered life. Other "adjustments" I see include depression and alcoholism.

Cathy and I talked about all of the aspects of this. I told her that it's inevitable that sooner or later her husband is going to find out and that will be the end of her marriage.

And even if that doesn't happen, she had to realize that vice squads sometimes infiltrate prostitution rings.

Then, not only will a lot of people be arrested, but she, her husband, and both of their families will be humiliated -- and she would probably end up with a criminal record.

As Cathy was leaving my office, I felt I might not see her again, so I launched into the next step, which would probably be even more difficult for her.

Sit down with your husband and say you aren't trophy wife to be brought out to show off, but someone who has needs and that will involve some major changes in your marriage.

She dismissed it. "He won't go for it."

"Cathy, given the serious nature of your situation, I don't think you should give him any options. You are responsible for your own survival."

"He won't go for it. I know him."

"Suggest marriage counseling."

She laughed. "For sure he wouldn't go for that."

"Then pack your bags and give him a few weeks to think about it. You have money and choices available. Most women don't have that option."

 She was surprised. "That's pretty harsh. He has a lot of pride. God, does he have pride! What if he files for divorce?" I would lose everything; have to start over on my own." 

She thought about it. "I would prefer that things just go on the way they are. I mean, before I was in a cage and just taken out occasionally and put on display.

"Frankly, this is a lot more interesting than my old life. I was suffocating in that and even considering running away with the plumber or somebody to escape it."

With the conversation seemingly closed, I said, "We can talk about this next time."

She cancelled her next appointment and I didn't see her again.

Many people assume that all women are forced into prostitution -- because of a need for money, because of a drug habit, or because of mental instability.

Actually, like Cathy, many prostitutes are intelligent, well educated, and don't need the money.

They like the freedom and excitement of their life style and until they face some major crisis they are not motivated to change.



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